Sex positivity and why it is important for psychologists (and all allied health clinicians!) to be sex positive.

This blog was prepared for you by our registered psychologist and psychosexual therapist, and fan of comprehensive sex ed, Carla Jones.

I love asking people where and how they learnt about sexuality. Some folks tell me tales of engaging conversations with parents, teachers or older siblings that are open and encouraging of curiosity. Or of sexual health education at school that spoke of options and pleasure. But I must say, these are few and far between. Shame, stigma and misinformation permeate classrooms and dining room tables, and places where young people should feel safe to share concerns or queries about their body are often too clinical, or worse, dismissive. 

Enter: sex positivity! I consider a sex positive world to be one where everyone can have the opportunity to explore and understand their sexuality, gender and pleasure, free of shame and judgment, as much or as little as they would like. That means that everyone has the information they need to make informed decisions and provide consent, that pleasure is centred, and sexual communication is something that is normalised. While this should be the norm, writing this now makes me feel like I am describing some kind of utopia. 

So what does a gal have to do to get a bit of sex positivity around here? I think it comes down to attitudes and education. Starting with attitudes, we have to consider how people already approach sex, bodies, desire, and how this is influenced by culture, the media, economics, religion (etc etc etc!). Having more curiosity and openness, as well as challenging some of our old attitudes can pave the way for an increase in sex positivity. As for education, well this starts in childhood with comprehensive conversations about pleasure, boundaries, anatomy and all things sex being discussed freely with lots of different people. The kind of conversations that don’t stop in Year 9 science class! The kind that encourages lifelong learning and an understanding of the breadth of human variation (no more of this “the boys can sit on this side of the room and the girls can sit on the other” stuff). Further, there seems to be a certain awkwardness or discomfort that can come up for young people and adults when they don’t know something about sex. But we can’t know everything about everything, and we need to normalise this. Not knowing and learning is also a part of sex positivity!

Why is it important for psychologists to be sex positive? 

As a psychologist, being sex positive is an ethical and clinical responsibility. When psychologists are avoidant, uncomfortable, or implicitly judgemental about sex, clients pick up on this and respond by withholding information or minimising concerns, or disengaging from therapy altogether. Conversely, sex-positive practice builds trust. It signals to clients that all parts of them are welcome in the room. It allows therapy to address the full complexity of human experience, rather than fragmenting mental health from sexuality.

Being sex positive doesn’t mean that you have to directly “treat” sexual health concerns. This is often best done by someone who has specific training in sexual health. However, supporting a client to more deeply understand their attitudes and sexual education can be a game changer. It might even be the first open and honest conversation they’ve had about sex! Building a relationship with your client that is inclusive and understanding of the common sexual difficulties or shame and stigma that they may be experiencing will go a long way, not only in strengthening your therapeutic relationship, but possibly also towards your client resolving their sexual difficulties. 
If you’re a psychologist or allied health professional who is wanting to learn more about being sex-positive with your clients, then stay tuned to our Training Academy site. We might just have some interesting courses and webinars that you might be interested in!

And if you are someone who is seeking a sex positive clinician, then please reach out to us – it’s something we pride ourselves on!