This blog has been created for you by our Provisional Psychologist, Rosie Scott. 

Although one might expect to feel happy after enjoyable, satisfying sex, this isn’t always the case. Around 10% of the population consistently report sadness, irritability and tearfulness after sex. Within academic literature, the phenomenon of negative feelings after enjoyable sex is known as post-coital dysphoria (PCD). Colloquially, it’s called post-sex blues, and sometimes even post-nut clarity. 

The phenomenon of PCD only really entered the academic lexicon within the last 15 years. But there are plenty of historical sources which suggest that crying after sex is nothing new. Aristotle reportedly queried why young men come to dislike their sexual partners post-completion, and ancient Greek philosopher Galen was said to believe that all animals feel sad after sex aside from human women and roosters.  

We’re still not entirely sure why people experience post-sex blues. Some hypothesised explanations include: 

• Hormonal vulnerability related to the body’s sensitivity to oestrogen signalling – this is also implicated in post-natal depression 
• Neurotransmitter highs and resulting withdrawal, where you’re coming down from a sex-high (kind of like a hangover!) 
• General mental and sexual health concerns – people experiencing anxiety or depression, sexual dysfunctions, and sexual pain conditions are more likely to report PCD symptoms 
• Historical experiences of trauma and abuse are also predictive of PCD

PCD isn’t yet well understood, which can be frustrating for those who wonder why it happens to them. It’s important to remember that if you experience post-sex blues, you’re not alone. To help manage the emotional crash, draw on your existing regulation and coping skills and incorporate them into your aftercare. 

This might look like: 

• Having a cuddle after sex with your partner(s) 
• Doing something entertaining to lift your mood – even something as simple as watching some videos or reading a book 
• Speak with your partner(s) about what type of support you’d like – they probably want to make sure you’re ok too! 
• Have a cup of tea or a snack 
• Do some deep breathing exercises 
• Adding in some gentle movement, like yoga or a walk 
• Tucking yourself into bed for a sleep if it’s that time of night 

If post-sex blues are causing distress for you or your relationship, you might benefit from seeing an affirming, supportive, psychosexual therapist. Here at Haven Psychology, we seek to build an ongoing relationship with you and give you space in which you can talk freely and express your emotions, and feel heard, understood and valued. Sex therapy can be a great way to support you with PCD, but also anxiety, trauma or sexual pain that may be contributing to this feeling. If you need to chat to one of our friendly staff about seeing a psychosexual therapist, reach out via our Contact Us page or call 1300 442 836.