Let’s Talk Sexual Pleasure

Sexual pleasure is a feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment experienced during sexual activity or arousal. It is a normal and natural part of human sexuality and can be experienced by people of all genders and orientations. It can also be an important aspect of a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Sexual pleasure can be physical, emotional, and psychological, and can involve a variety of sensations and experiences. It can be experienced through activities such as sexual intercourse, oral sex, masturbation, or other forms of sexual expression.

Sexual pleasure is subjective, meaning that what is pleasurable for one person may not be pleasurable for another! This means it is very important for you to communicate with your partner about your desires and boundaries, and to engage in sexual activity in a way that is consensual, safe, and enjoyable for everyone involved.

In this blog, we will discuss some common issues that affect sexual pleasure, as well as some great tips on how to improve how you experience sexual pleasure. 

Common issues which can affect sexual pleasure

Several common issues can affect sexual pleasure. Some common issues include:

Difficulty with arousal or orgasm

Some people may have difficulty becoming aroused or maintaining arousal during sexual activity. This can be due to a variety of factors, such as physical or emotional issues, hormonal changes, relationship issues, or medication side effects such as birth control. 

Some people may also have difficulty achieving orgasm or may have difficulty experiencing orgasm consistently.

Pain during sex 

Pain during sex (dyspareunia) can be a common issue and can be caused by several issues. 

Pain can also be the result of past sexual trauma. Trauma or abuse may cause anxiety and a fear of intimacy. These feelings can make it difficult or painful to have sex and reduce sexual pleasure. 

Low desire or mixed desire

Low sexual desire(sex drive) is a common issue. 

One of the causes of low desire can be stress. Stress can increase levels of the hormone cortisol which may lower sex drive. 

Depression may also cause a lack of interest in activities you enjoyed before, including sex. Low self-esteem and feelings of hopelessness can also contribute to sexual dysfunction. Other causes can be medication side effects, relationship issues and hormonal changes, such as menopause. 

It’s common for folks in a sexual partnership to experience mixed or different levels of sexual desire. This can result in resentment, feelings of pressure and disconnection if not properly communicated. 

Sexual dysfunction

Sexual dysfunction refers to problems that can interfere with sexual pleasure, such as erectile dysfunction in men or difficulty with lubrication in women.

Relationship issues

Relationship issues, such as a lack of communication, trust, or intimacy, can also affect sexual pleasure. 

How can you improve your sexual pleasure?

There are several things that you can do to improve your sexual pleasure. Here are a few suggestions:

Communicate with your partner

It is important to communicate with your partner about your desires and boundaries and to ensure that you are both comfortable and consenting to any sexual activity.


Some many different techniques and activities can be enjoyable and pleasurable, and it can be helpful to experiment with different things to see what works for you. 

Talk to your partner about different ways you can enhance desire and arousal. Consider making changes to your sexual routine. You may also try erotic materials (sexual stimulation devices, videos or books) or massage.

Engaging in self-exploration, such as masturbation, can also be a helpful way to learn more about your own body and what feels good to you.

Work on your pelvic floor

If you find that your pelvic floor is impacting your ability to have pain-free or pleasurable sex, then it might be worth speaking to a pelvic floor physiotherapist. They can offer education, practical support and stretches and even massage that can assist with a range of problems. 

Pain management

There are several approaches to reducing pain during intercourse. You can try different sexual positions, lubricants or relaxation techniques before sex. 

Practice relaxation and being present

Sexual pleasure can be enhanced by relaxation. Try to relax and let go of any stress or distractions that may be affecting your enjoyment of sexual activity.

Focusing on the present moment and being mindful of your sensations and experiences can also help you fully experience and enjoy sexual pleasure.

Take your time

Rushing through sexual activity can reduce pleasure, so try to take your time and fully enjoy the experience.

How we can help you at Haven Psychology

If you are experiencing issues with sexual pleasure, it can be helpful to speak with a mental health professional.

Our team at Haven Psychology can help you to work through emotional or psychological barriers to pleasurable sex through one-on-one counselling or relationship counselling.

Get in touch with us today to schedule an appointment here, or phone our friendly team on 07 3368 1537.

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